Decompression

So... It's the middle of the day and I've definatly shut myself into my computer room... Why you ask? I don't know really. I just put my iTunes on shuffle and went. I did some stuff to my Nex page, and this one aswell... well I guess you can see that. but really I've just been kinda thinking... But i'll back track a little to give some background.

Last night as I was laying in bed waiting for Graham to text me or call me while I was watching SATC (Sex and the City) any ways finally I just decided to go to sleep because well I always some how wake up whenever he does. When for everyone else I just keep on sleeping. So after about 10 min of me just laying there my phone goes off... It was Sara... Ohhh Madagascar. ANYWAYS. But then He sent one and told me that he was talking with his friend and he would call later... but morning comes, no call...

So i roll my ass outta bed and go for breakfast. after scraping my car off and getting there it was good. I was really really tired tho cause well... It was 7am. lol so I came home and had myself a good ol nap. I slept till about maybe 11? Then I got ready for lunch with Sara. After picking her up from the U of S we went to BP's and well I decided I would ask Graham how last night went since he never called. Turns out things didn't go so well and after I replied I put it to the back of my mind... sorta. actually I just started drinking. But in reality i only had one.

After lunch it was off to Alexander's house... why? I have no idea. but it was a good time nun the less. with all of the random shit that him and Jordan and Gerrit do... It was bound to be a good time. That and the fact that well we did have a drink with lunch that hit me harder than I thought it would. but definatly not drunk. not even close.

But yeah I came home cause well Sara had her rowing at 4 and I needed to be at home. to just think, and decompress. so here I am decompressing. about what? I'm not to sure. About what a good afternoon I had? or because of the fact that I want to know what happened last night with Graham but don't want to ask because in all honesty what would I say? How do you really expressin words when your instincts tell you to just hug them and let them talk. Maybe it's just that I hate the fact that he lives so far. or that I seem to be falling and I don't know what to do. Ususally I just run before this even happens or I figure out that it would never happen and move on anyways. "But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me. Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v. Boy it aint easy" (P.S - Rihanna) I just don't know why the heck I had to go and do this with some one who actually lives like 10 hours away... I know I'll be okay, but it's just that odd day where something happens and I get slightly depressed. But fortunatly tonight I'm going to the OD with Sara because it's Spencer's 20th Birthday. That and I usually just listen to Go to sleep - Swollen Members. It makes me feel better.

We just met and I'm afraid one day I might lose you...