New Years Blues

So i've decided that just a few words can put a damper on ones New years spirit. Mind you i'm sure that my new years will still be fantastic but not in the same way that it could have been before I got said phone call. Now for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about all you need to do is ask. I'm not very shy about these things in the way that i feel some input is needed to help me decide what I should do. Keeping in mind that the decision is still ultimately mine.

That having been said I have been a little off all day. Most of the time I am indeed fine but there are those moments like now when I look around my kitchen full of happy people who have been together for a long time and wonder when that will happen to me. Although for myself a month and a half with out any problems or anything is suprising even for myself.

In the end I will most likely do one of two things... Talk to him about it like I really should, and see how I feel after said converstation. Or possibly two, which would be to just end it saying that even though I still like him we are just to different for anything to work past this point. Either way I'm going to suck it up, put it to the back of my mind for now and just try my best to enjoy the night and not focus on how when that midnight strikes I'll have no one to kiss. That is unless Kate, or Sara would do the honor as per usual.

What a wonderful caricature of intamacy

Updated.

Welp I figured it was a good time for a new post. Not that it's going to be very intersting at all but thats okay! So considering Christmas just finished and New years is coming on very shortly I am definatly quite excited. Mainly because I know that it is at least going to be interesting. WHY? Because it always is.

New years for me at least has been an awesome time, and when it's not it's at least entertaining. I'm either playing video games all night, having an awesome time with my friends or... well... being hip checked into a door knob and leaving a large dent in the wall... Which is still actually there if you would care to look. Right behind the basement door. Props to Hermansen for that one. lol

To start off the New years festivities I've been going out. It started Wednesday with Michelle G and Sara. We went to JT's lounge and had some wings n such then it was off to the OD for some drunken dancing/stripping (I was wearing another shirt underneath!). Thursday was the Branch. Mind you I did get rather tired fairly quickly but thats okay it was an awesome time nun the less. Happy Birthday to Buttons for turning 21, and finally getting a cell phone. Finally believe that tonight is supposed to be the Scuz. We shall see if it measures up to last week.

Just a little filler for the Scuz, last week we saw Summer and a Kat, then after work Jackie came and then Elise showed up. It was just an awesome kinda night. Where you look down and see that it's 1:30am and well you've been there since like 10pm. Just awesome.

Well you're so damn hott!

Be strong

This was intended to be something else that just changed into a few clips of songs that kinda stood out to me. enjoy.

*

"Whatever happened to our inner glow? Whatever happened to the song, the soul, the me i used to know? Whatever happened to my radio? Whatever happened to my song? "

Inner Glow -Blue October

*

"I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me. I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me. In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done."

"In the day by day collision called the art of growing up. There's an innocence we look for in the stars, to be taken back to younger days. When there was no giving up on the people we held closest to our hearts"

Razorblade -Blue October

*

"Just a list of things that I should know everyone should know:

1. You gotta take it kinda slowly

2. you gotta hurry up and make your move

3. You gotta tell her how you feel

4. You gotta be the perfect gentelman.

When you shake the wall, you gotta make it bend. You gotta show her that she's the balance beam and I keep falling all around her fairy tale."

Fairy Tale -Blue October

*

"I deal with the fact that I've forgiven the worst. I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed. Another page. A sullen rage, and I'll be back to my normal self. I'm finally happy. Happy. Independantly happy."

Independantly Happy -Blue October

*

"You oughta hear the things I’ve been thinking. You oughta swim in a heart that is sinking. You try to break me with all the things you say: 'Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway' "

Miss halfway - Anya Marina

*

"I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent. I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense, yeah. Let me in,Let me in to the club. 'Cause I wanna belong, and I need to get strong, and if memory serves. I'm addicted to words and they're useless."

*

"Let's get fucked up and die. For the last time with feeling, we'll try not to smile. As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the night. That’s no shock and surprise. I believe that I can overcome this and beat everything in the end. But I choose to abuse for the time being. Maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die."

Lets get fucked up and die -Motion City Sountrack

*

"Satisfy myself. Avoid beginners, Who long to shut my mouth till I take one of them home. 'Cause I know how it feels filling in the blanks. Looking on the bright side, when there is no bright side. Cumming in your pants for the off chance with a... poster of a girl"

Poster of a girl -Metric

*

"I gotta let you know I'll always stand strong because the lessons that I learned at home. My momma told me, 'baby hold your own' and I appreciate the love you gave becuase it taught me how to walk this way, talk this way, never be afraid."

Feelin' fine (remix) -Classified feat Jordan Croucher & Jay Bizzy

*

"So since I’m not your everything, how about I'll be nothing. Nothing at all to you. Baby I won't shead a tear for you. I won't lose a wink of sleep, 'cause the truth of the matter is... Replacing you is so easy"

Irreplaceable -Beyonce

*

"Hey, hang your red gloves up. 'Cause there's nothing left to prove now. Hey, hang your red gloves up. Baby, no one cares but you. What planet are you from? Accuse me of things that I've never done. Listen to you carrying on..."

L.A. Ex -Rachel Stevens

*

Life's a trip...

Scuz-ing it up baby!

Okay. so I just had one of those nights where it was just plain great. Nothing bad happens on those nights. You know what I'm talking about. The nights where you go out with you and your friend, find more people you know as the night goes on and the next thing you know it's like 2am and your still ready for more.

I love these nights. They seem to happen on random friday's at the scuz or when the scuz is involved. You know how you can go to some bars such as the OverDrive, or the double duece and they never seem to be any fun for you? Except on those rare occations when they randomly are. Then you hit somewhere like the Long Branch, The Hoze and Hydrant, or The Scuz and everything is awesome. Mind you that could be because of the people. Mostly I just think it's the places in general.

The Pat is to...grubby I suppose is the word I'm looking for. The OverDrive (tho I do enjoy to go there from time to time) is to wanna be gangster/I'm creepy and going to hit on anything that moves. The Duece plain and simple TO SMALL! Now mind you haven't been to all of the Bar/Nightclubs/Lounges but I've been to my fair share and well you always have your favorites.

Some how when your at one of those places you love to go to even if it's only like once every two months or something along those lines, it rocks. You dance the night away with the poeple you came with, avoid the ones that you dance with/make-out with when you were single and just have a good time seeing all the people that you usually don't ever see... I had one of those nights tonight. I loved it.

It was a one night Extravagansa!

Random Freak out?

So I'm sitting at work, drawing on my arm because I was in "training" all day at work. (Training = It's slow, and we need people off of the phones. So you sit there...) When all of a sudden this feeling of complete horror washed over me. My stomac tightened, I got all flushed, couldn't concentrate on anything. Why it happend? I have no idea. It was random, and unexpected. Maybe something really has happened that I haven't found out about, or something will happen.

After the feeling had passed I thought of something. Today, December 15 is Mike's and I one month. Now this is actually a big deal for me mainly because no one ever lasts this long. I think I freaked out a little because of it. At least that's what I'm hoping it is. I'm definatly still trying to figure out exactly what caused it because I would like to know. Needless to say I'm still a little freaked out about it.

My cure for it? Kicking off from work about 2 hours from work early and listen to Christmas Carols. They always make me feel better. That and Junk food, but that might be skipped so I can work on stripping the wall paper off of my walls. Yes I'm taking down the little pink hearted wallpaper that's been in my room for the last what 5 or 6 years. I know it's a little belated but better late than never.

What's a Partridge, and what's a pear tree? Well I don't know so please don't ask me, but I can bet those are terrible gifts to get...

It's Christmas time again

Seeing as how everyone else has started in whit their christmas posts I figured I would title one and then just make it like all of the others. KIDDING! Oh and Alexander. Christmas time starts on December 1st. non of this December 20th stuff. Mostly thats just cause it's the Chtristmas month.

Really what I wanted to blog about was my work. Now most of you know what I do. I take reservation from around the world, mostly from the United States though. ANYWAYS what my topic really is, is how do you know what to say to some one who you are on the phone with and don't know what they celebrate. Mind you most people do say "Merry Christmas" but what about those who don't. Even worse (in my eyes) those who don't celebrate anything at all.

Now all of this just takes me back to high school when I think it was Kayla who say "Merry Something! and a Happy Whatever!" How appropriate. Mind you I think they would get mad at me for saying it at work, but in my own defence I could claim I didn't want to offend anyone. Mostly I think people would just get a kick out of it.

Back to the topic before I have no problem saying these things when they are said to me first but for me personally I love the holidays (minus the snow and extreme cold most of the time) but really I do enjoy them. The songs, Eggnog, Christmas trees, all of it. Mostly just the spending time with every one.

I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from 1 to 92, although it's been said many times, many ways. Merry Christmas to you....

Never Take Friendship Personal.

So here I sit after another good night out. On the way home from dropping off Sara, I was listening to a song by Anberlin called 'Never Take Friendship Personal'. This got me to thinking. It's actually kind of true. I mean honestly we take everything in a friendship personal. Mind you that is kind of the point, but mostly just lately with everything that's happened within the last few months... We take things that don't involve us and make them personal because we have friendships with each of the parties. Why?

That simple question could have a million answers. It could be because we care about everyone involved and want to see everything work out. Possibly because we feel we need to help them resolve the issue so that nothing more becomes of what has already happened. Crazy talk.

Personaly I'm all about helping my friends out but when it comes to the point where I have to choose between these things, or anythings along those lines I think it is just crazy talk. Now think what you want but for me I think that if it doesn't really involve you then stay out of it. Now you can think what you want and definatly have your own opinion and what not but does every one else really need to know? Or even better do you need to add to what's happening?

Now this could just be the ramblings of a person who definatly had to much to drink last night, or even some one who is overtired. Mostly I think it was just that the song hit a thought and I figured it should be shared with those who actually read this. (I know there aren't many) That being said I'm going to continue listening to my christmas techno, yes that's right. Christmas TECHNO! Then when I'm done with that I'm going to crash, and it is definatly going to be glorious.

Never take friendship personal. If you can't hold yourself together why should I hold you now?