New Years Blues

So i've decided that just a few words can put a damper on ones New years spirit. Mind you i'm sure that my new years will still be fantastic but not in the same way that it could have been before I got said phone call. Now for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about all you need to do is ask. I'm not very shy about these things in the way that i feel some input is needed to help me decide what I should do. Keeping in mind that the decision is still ultimately mine.

That having been said I have been a little off all day. Most of the time I am indeed fine but there are those moments like now when I look around my kitchen full of happy people who have been together for a long time and wonder when that will happen to me. Although for myself a month and a half with out any problems or anything is suprising even for myself.

In the end I will most likely do one of two things... Talk to him about it like I really should, and see how I feel after said converstation. Or possibly two, which would be to just end it saying that even though I still like him we are just to different for anything to work past this point. Either way I'm going to suck it up, put it to the back of my mind for now and just try my best to enjoy the night and not focus on how when that midnight strikes I'll have no one to kiss. That is unless Kate, or Sara would do the honor as per usual.

What a wonderful caricature of intamacy

Updated.

Welp I figured it was a good time for a new post. Not that it's going to be very intersting at all but thats okay! So considering Christmas just finished and New years is coming on very shortly I am definatly quite excited. Mainly because I know that it is at least going to be interesting. WHY? Because it always is.

New years for me at least has been an awesome time, and when it's not it's at least entertaining. I'm either playing video games all night, having an awesome time with my friends or... well... being hip checked into a door knob and leaving a large dent in the wall... Which is still actually there if you would care to look. Right behind the basement door. Props to Hermansen for that one. lol

To start off the New years festivities I've been going out. It started Wednesday with Michelle G and Sara. We went to JT's lounge and had some wings n such then it was off to the OD for some drunken dancing/stripping (I was wearing another shirt underneath!). Thursday was the Branch. Mind you I did get rather tired fairly quickly but thats okay it was an awesome time nun the less. Happy Birthday to Buttons for turning 21, and finally getting a cell phone. Finally believe that tonight is supposed to be the Scuz. We shall see if it measures up to last week.

Just a little filler for the Scuz, last week we saw Summer and a Kat, then after work Jackie came and then Elise showed up. It was just an awesome kinda night. Where you look down and see that it's 1:30am and well you've been there since like 10pm. Just awesome.

Well you're so damn hott!

Be strong

This was intended to be something else that just changed into a few clips of songs that kinda stood out to me. enjoy.

*

"Whatever happened to our inner glow? Whatever happened to the song, the soul, the me i used to know? Whatever happened to my radio? Whatever happened to my song? "

Inner Glow -Blue October

*

"I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me. I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me. In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done."

"In the day by day collision called the art of growing up. There's an innocence we look for in the stars, to be taken back to younger days. When there was no giving up on the people we held closest to our hearts"

Razorblade -Blue October

*

"Just a list of things that I should know everyone should know:

1. You gotta take it kinda slowly

2. you gotta hurry up and make your move

3. You gotta tell her how you feel

4. You gotta be the perfect gentelman.

When you shake the wall, you gotta make it bend. You gotta show her that she's the balance beam and I keep falling all around her fairy tale."

Fairy Tale -Blue October

*

"I deal with the fact that I've forgiven the worst. I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed. Another page. A sullen rage, and I'll be back to my normal self. I'm finally happy. Happy. Independantly happy."

Independantly Happy -Blue October

*

"You oughta hear the things I’ve been thinking. You oughta swim in a heart that is sinking. You try to break me with all the things you say: 'Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway' "

Miss halfway - Anya Marina

*

"I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent. I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense, yeah. Let me in,Let me in to the club. 'Cause I wanna belong, and I need to get strong, and if memory serves. I'm addicted to words and they're useless."

*

"Let's get fucked up and die. For the last time with feeling, we'll try not to smile. As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the night. That’s no shock and surprise. I believe that I can overcome this and beat everything in the end. But I choose to abuse for the time being. Maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die."

Lets get fucked up and die -Motion City Sountrack

*

"Satisfy myself. Avoid beginners, Who long to shut my mouth till I take one of them home. 'Cause I know how it feels filling in the blanks. Looking on the bright side, when there is no bright side. Cumming in your pants for the off chance with a... poster of a girl"

Poster of a girl -Metric

*

"I gotta let you know I'll always stand strong because the lessons that I learned at home. My momma told me, 'baby hold your own' and I appreciate the love you gave becuase it taught me how to walk this way, talk this way, never be afraid."

Feelin' fine (remix) -Classified feat Jordan Croucher & Jay Bizzy

*

"So since I’m not your everything, how about I'll be nothing. Nothing at all to you. Baby I won't shead a tear for you. I won't lose a wink of sleep, 'cause the truth of the matter is... Replacing you is so easy"

Irreplaceable -Beyonce

*

"Hey, hang your red gloves up. 'Cause there's nothing left to prove now. Hey, hang your red gloves up. Baby, no one cares but you. What planet are you from? Accuse me of things that I've never done. Listen to you carrying on..."

L.A. Ex -Rachel Stevens

*

Life's a trip...

Scuz-ing it up baby!

Okay. so I just had one of those nights where it was just plain great. Nothing bad happens on those nights. You know what I'm talking about. The nights where you go out with you and your friend, find more people you know as the night goes on and the next thing you know it's like 2am and your still ready for more.

I love these nights. They seem to happen on random friday's at the scuz or when the scuz is involved. You know how you can go to some bars such as the OverDrive, or the double duece and they never seem to be any fun for you? Except on those rare occations when they randomly are. Then you hit somewhere like the Long Branch, The Hoze and Hydrant, or The Scuz and everything is awesome. Mind you that could be because of the people. Mostly I just think it's the places in general.

The Pat is to...grubby I suppose is the word I'm looking for. The OverDrive (tho I do enjoy to go there from time to time) is to wanna be gangster/I'm creepy and going to hit on anything that moves. The Duece plain and simple TO SMALL! Now mind you haven't been to all of the Bar/Nightclubs/Lounges but I've been to my fair share and well you always have your favorites.

Some how when your at one of those places you love to go to even if it's only like once every two months or something along those lines, it rocks. You dance the night away with the poeple you came with, avoid the ones that you dance with/make-out with when you were single and just have a good time seeing all the people that you usually don't ever see... I had one of those nights tonight. I loved it.

It was a one night Extravagansa!

Random Freak out?

So I'm sitting at work, drawing on my arm because I was in "training" all day at work. (Training = It's slow, and we need people off of the phones. So you sit there...) When all of a sudden this feeling of complete horror washed over me. My stomac tightened, I got all flushed, couldn't concentrate on anything. Why it happend? I have no idea. It was random, and unexpected. Maybe something really has happened that I haven't found out about, or something will happen.

After the feeling had passed I thought of something. Today, December 15 is Mike's and I one month. Now this is actually a big deal for me mainly because no one ever lasts this long. I think I freaked out a little because of it. At least that's what I'm hoping it is. I'm definatly still trying to figure out exactly what caused it because I would like to know. Needless to say I'm still a little freaked out about it.

My cure for it? Kicking off from work about 2 hours from work early and listen to Christmas Carols. They always make me feel better. That and Junk food, but that might be skipped so I can work on stripping the wall paper off of my walls. Yes I'm taking down the little pink hearted wallpaper that's been in my room for the last what 5 or 6 years. I know it's a little belated but better late than never.

What's a Partridge, and what's a pear tree? Well I don't know so please don't ask me, but I can bet those are terrible gifts to get...

It's Christmas time again

Seeing as how everyone else has started in whit their christmas posts I figured I would title one and then just make it like all of the others. KIDDING! Oh and Alexander. Christmas time starts on December 1st. non of this December 20th stuff. Mostly thats just cause it's the Chtristmas month.

Really what I wanted to blog about was my work. Now most of you know what I do. I take reservation from around the world, mostly from the United States though. ANYWAYS what my topic really is, is how do you know what to say to some one who you are on the phone with and don't know what they celebrate. Mind you most people do say "Merry Christmas" but what about those who don't. Even worse (in my eyes) those who don't celebrate anything at all.

Now all of this just takes me back to high school when I think it was Kayla who say "Merry Something! and a Happy Whatever!" How appropriate. Mind you I think they would get mad at me for saying it at work, but in my own defence I could claim I didn't want to offend anyone. Mostly I think people would just get a kick out of it.

Back to the topic before I have no problem saying these things when they are said to me first but for me personally I love the holidays (minus the snow and extreme cold most of the time) but really I do enjoy them. The songs, Eggnog, Christmas trees, all of it. Mostly just the spending time with every one.

I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from 1 to 92, although it's been said many times, many ways. Merry Christmas to you....

Never Take Friendship Personal.

So here I sit after another good night out. On the way home from dropping off Sara, I was listening to a song by Anberlin called 'Never Take Friendship Personal'. This got me to thinking. It's actually kind of true. I mean honestly we take everything in a friendship personal. Mind you that is kind of the point, but mostly just lately with everything that's happened within the last few months... We take things that don't involve us and make them personal because we have friendships with each of the parties. Why?

That simple question could have a million answers. It could be because we care about everyone involved and want to see everything work out. Possibly because we feel we need to help them resolve the issue so that nothing more becomes of what has already happened. Crazy talk.

Personaly I'm all about helping my friends out but when it comes to the point where I have to choose between these things, or anythings along those lines I think it is just crazy talk. Now think what you want but for me I think that if it doesn't really involve you then stay out of it. Now you can think what you want and definatly have your own opinion and what not but does every one else really need to know? Or even better do you need to add to what's happening?

Now this could just be the ramblings of a person who definatly had to much to drink last night, or even some one who is overtired. Mostly I think it was just that the song hit a thought and I figured it should be shared with those who actually read this. (I know there aren't many) That being said I'm going to continue listening to my christmas techno, yes that's right. Christmas TECHNO! Then when I'm done with that I'm going to crash, and it is definatly going to be glorious.

Never take friendship personal. If you can't hold yourself together why should I hold you now?

Make You Smile...

The last time I saw you, you turned away

I couldn't see you with the Sun shining in my eyes

I said "Hello" but you kept on walking

I'm going deaf from the sound of the freeway

*

The Last time I saw you, you turned away

I couldn't hear you with your voice ringing in my ears

Do you remember where we used to sleep at night

I couldn't feel you, your always so far away

*

The first time I saw you, you turned away

I couldn't see you with the smoke getting in my eyes

I said "Hello" but you kept on walking

I'm going deaf from the sound of the DJ

*

The first time I saw you, you turned away

I couldn't hear with the noise ringing in my ears

Do you remember where we used to sleep at night

I couldn't feel you, your always so far away

*

I don't, don't wanna take you home

Please don't, don't make me sleep alone

If I could, I'd only want to make you smile

If you would stay with me a while

*

The next time I see you, you'll turn away

I'll say "Hello" but you'll keep on walking

The next time you see me, I'll turn away

Do you remember where we used to sleep at night,

I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

*

I don't, don't wanna take you home

Please don't, don't make me sleep alone I

f I could, I'd only want to make you smile

If you would stay with me a while

*

I don't, don't wanna take you home

Please don't, don't make me sleep alone

If I could, I'd only want to make you smile

If you would stay with me a while

*

+44

Oddly Optimistic

I did an odd thing today... Well more odd than usuall for myself anyway. While I was talking to Sara trying to get her to tell me what kind of coffee she wanted, I started talking to Graham Martin. Yes the same Graham mentioned in my previous posts. Why? I have no freakin clue, but it was definatly good. Mind you I suppose that would be because we always just sort of 'clicked' but still it was suprisingly easy considering he crapped all over my fellings.
*
Now don't get me wrong I'm still evil about it because I asked him why he wasn't having a good week or anything. Mainly because I'm in such a good mood this evening ( a thank you to Christmas Music). It seemed like the center of his problems were his work truck not starting, and his girlfriend I'm assuming. Now before I went on to ask him about these problems me being the person I am... Mentioned I loved my car because it always starts, and that I was happy with who I have around me and don't have any problems. Tee... Hee... Take that!!

*

Now after that was all said and done I suppose we just fell into the grove we once had. With out the flirting or anything like that. In two simple words, I Refuse. It's just that simple. Mind you I do understand that people who break up can get back together after time and be happy after they have experienced a few things and grown up and matured. Realisticly these things don' t happen very often and well I'm okay with just being friends. I like having friends.

*

That also being said I suppose I just forgive people easily. Now forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting, and depending on what I have to forgive I may never. But I really see no real reason in wasting time hating, or holding a grudge with some one when really it's over and done with leave it in the past. Mind you it's not like I'm going to start confiding in these people or ever fully trusting them with anything, but I do hold hope for the future...

*

I've got rhythm, I've got music, I've got my man... Who could ask for anything more?

Here I go again.

Ever have one of those days where everything goes right and nothing can take the smile off of your face? I love those days. Almost seems like nothing can touch you and you're invincible. I had one of those days. Best day ever. It started after I answered a text on my phone. Then it was off to watch cartoons, and Alfie at Mike's. Then I came home to shower and go shopping with the mom. Mind you it wasn't the kinda shopping I wanted but still it was a pretty awesome time.

The shopping was precided with watching of the TV, and eating of the chinese food. ORGASMIC! haha... Then randomly after Brent and Matty left for the 3 Days Grace, Theory of a Dead Man, and Mobile concert Brent called me. I was like "wtf mate?" apparently the girl they were going with (total nut case) her sister bailed on her and Brent asked if I wanted to go... FUCKIN RIGHTS I DID! I love my brother. Even if he is an asshole somtimes. ANYWAYS! The concert kinda sucked while mobile was on stage, got a little bit better with Theory of a Dead Man, and kicked total ass with 3Days Grace! I LOVED IT! Knew basically every song they played and definatly rocked out with the drum solo on the little intermission that they had.

And now I'm just sitting here waiting for Mike to come over because he said he would and well it just seems like a good ending to an even better day. I love days like today, where nothing goes wrong and you just feel like you're on cloud nine. Hell I am on cloud 9 and I"m definatly loving every minute of it. Every one definatly has days like today even if you don't want to say it. You all know what I'm talking about.

Over and over, I try not to...

Louis Tuesday!

Oh BOY! haha. Don't ask questions. But ya lately has been good. For those of you who don't know (most of you do know/ could have guessed) Morgan is out. Now I know this is bad because it's the second time BUT I actually have a reason this time and it's not just "I don't wanna any more". No, no, no. This time it's the fact that I can't actually talk to the boy. Plain, simple but definatly a very large part of seeing some one.

*

Any ways Last night (Tuesday) was definatly a really good night for me. I went to Sara's and then it was off to the university to see Riley's hockey game. That was a pretty good time dacing around listening to Justin Timberlake, yelling at the team (3 guys from PA), and the random phone calls. Mainly from me. I felt like talking to some one so I called Arlen... But he didn't answer because he was in a movie. Then I called Mike and talked to him for a little while, and Sara talked to him for a little while.
*

After the game we went back to Louis (we were definatly there before the game) and Mike and a few of his friends decided they would come. This was AFTER Katherine and Sara left unfortunatly. Then I got drunk. Honestly I didn't even plan or want to but it was that whole "I don't have to go to work tomorrow, and it's only one more" kinda deal. Stupid me. Then after Loui's decided that they weren't serving any more Mike, his friends, and myself decided to go somewhere else... I tried driving. Made it to Circle drive and then stopped in the middle of the road ( there definatly wasn't any other cars around ) and make Mike drive.

*

We ended up at Mike's house, watched some TV, did a little talking n such and well... I didn't get home till around 8am this morning. Nothing happened. I fell asleep for a little while I think. Either that or he's just rediculously easy for me to talk to and well time flys. Even though I got basically no sleep I'm okay with that. I enjoyed myself.

*

Can't nobody do it like you, said every little thing you do, said it stays on my mind.

This is what happens when I work nights.

As I sit here listening to my random Justin Timberlake (thats right!! I LISTEN TO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!) I got to thinking about the last few days. Or really just last night and today to be exact. Nothing overly special happened, but nothing overly boring.

Last night (Friday night) was a night of coffee, playing Wed, Bed, or Dead while picking people from my old year books. That was hilarious (Ps. Jordan I have your jacket right now) Then every one really got tired and just wanted to leave, but that was around 1ish I think. So then me and Sara decided to go to the Scuz because Brent, Matty, Sean, Graham, and Rhett had gone. Mainly I just wanted to go because I told them I would drive them home if they needed it, and would have ended up going there later any way. So after saving Brent from the "walking STD store", dancing with Buttons, and giving this guy Mike my number because he knew "The Twins" (Arlen, and Aaron) I came home, drove Matty home, and Crashed.

Today was a little less exciting. I got up, worked on the card I'd been working on for a guy I work for (Death in the family) and went shopping with Sara. Who knew that Lulu Lemon could have such nice pants... THAT WOULDN"T HAVE MY SIZE! friggen Those people should have more stock is what I say, because those pants were amazing. Now I know what you are all thinking and no they weren't just their normal kinda pants they have there. I wanted them even if they were like 100 and something. ANYWAYS! I went to work, and only really worked for about half my shift. After that it was "training" basically they just wanted to take people off the phones because we were already waiting like 20 min between calls. So for the last like hour and a half I was listening to my iPod, and playing on my gameboy.

The only really exciting thing that happened tonight while I was at work was that Mike actually called. You know how you expect some one to call and they never do? I was almost thinking he might do that. Now he did invite me to come out after I was done work at 1am but I defiantly didn't feel up to going. One: I just finished 'work'... Two: I definatly DIDN"T shower today. lol Now i know thats kinda gross but I did shower last night so whatever... and Three: I would probably only know like... Him. Really I didn't feel like going through that toinght. So I definatly just called him and told him we would hang out another time. That is my story. OHHHH!!!

K. Thursday after I was rediculously drunk I started hitting on this Curtis guy. (no not my brother) but then he came to the Scuz after I got there and came up and started talking to me. Thankfully Matty was sitting right beside me and definatly realized who he was cause I was telling him about Curtis earlier and well right after they shook hands Matty put his hand on my leg. Now Curtis noticed and kinda walked away proceeding to text me how i was loosing a good thing when i blew him off. Really why are guys so full of themselfs sometimes? Mind you girls are the same way but why? I don't really understand why when some one says that they aren't interested in you that you feel the need to go on a rant. It doesn't matter if it's a phone call, an e-mail, or some crazy texting thing. GET OVER IT! gosh. You obviously will move on and find some one else, why drag out what just happened with some one you don't even know? The only thing I can come up with is to repair your damaged ego, that really wasn't all that damaged to begin with. Stupid people. Okay... I'm done now... :D

The record won't stop skipping, and the lies just won't stop slipping...

Just cause I could.

I know it's been a while... But i've been buzy not doing things. Which is almost a complete lie. I've been going out, for coffee, went to the OD wednesday, the Branch thursday. Definatly got drunk with out meaning to on Thursday. Thats what I get for making friends with a guy who's friends are buying a bunch of shots and knowing the shooter girl who is selling them... OH WELL! But yes. I have thoughts. not. haha.

Anyways. I'm just going to ramble on about nothing really just because I need to decompress otherwise I could explode. I know we wouldn't want that. Well I wouldn't. Things are good, for the most part. I dislike the amount of snow on the ground. But you all know I don't like snow unless I'm snowboarding, or doing something almost as rediculous. Really though have you noticed that? Whenever it snows or rains or anything else other that sunshine people drive like fucktards. Mind you I understand that they are being cautious but at the same time FUCK OFF!! UHG!!!

Now see that right there is how I've been all week. I can be happy one minute and fuming with anger the next. Almost like flipping on a light switch. Why that is I have no idea, and really don't care either. The people who piss me off don't matter, and the poeple who matter... Well they still piss me off just not nearly as much if at all. So naturally I'll deal with it and get over myself if you're important. Most are not.

In the boy department... I'm just not going to get into that because well I don't even know what the fuck is going on. I don't. I've already got enought drama in that department and I'm not even technically seeing any one! AHH! I'm going to become a nun... But we all know how well that would work out. Not well at all. I would last about 3 seconds then some guy would walk by or something and I would totaly just walk after him. But seriously my love life hates me.

If ya got a man, try and leave him if ya can

Michelle-a-licious

Okay... Where the hell do people come up with their ideas for songs? Really some are amazingly good. But then you get randoms like Brittany and crap who just sing stuff like "Pass me my guitar so I can look like a star" Please tell me she got hit by a bus and died. Where is all of this coming from you ask? Well I'm actually Sitting here listening to Fergie's new song Fergalisious... Well that and L0ndon Bridges. Don't get me wrong I like the songs to dance to. Aside from that who honestly makes a song about themselfs?

Do I walk around going Michelle-a-licious? No. Mind you I could but then the nice men in the white coats and padded rooms would have to take me away for ever. So why do we let these people do what they want? HELL IF I KNOW! It's like saying Paris Hilton is a singer. No she's not. Just like Sara said last night, the only thing her music says is what she's good at. Being a slut, stradaling things, and seducing little boys. So really she's just a pedafile with money. stupid hooker.

Okay... I'm done. Sometimes I think we need blunt assholes to get a hold of their dicks and finally say "no" to all of the crap that's everywhere... Life would be better.

All those mother fuckers he runs with, the kids that he signed... Rediculous!

P.s
I'm actually in a good mood today I just needed something to do and this was it.

The friday that was all about "the Gabe"

So tonight was definatly the best day I've had in a while. Mainly because it really started when I finished work at about 1:30pm. Then It was off to Sara's to really just bond in the way that we do while making "The Gabe" present. I loved it. All of it. The shirt, the "gabe-isms" absolutly amazing. Oh man the subway was really good to, it's just been so long since I've had one of their sandwiches and just been thinking "this is going to be sooooo good..." honestly just wanted it that badly once you see it being made and getting all wrapped up. I just wanted to jump over the counter tackle the guy making it and eat it right there... Okay. Maybe not THAT badly.

But while eating the Subs we watched the classic Bugs Bunny cartoons. Those make my life all the time becuase you get those freakin cartoons where everthing is messed and it's all about some stupid thing that has to do with space and super this and fantasic that. What honestly happened to the time where it was a bald guy with a gun chasing a freaking normal rabbit. BUT! back to the point. It was awesome.

So after wrapping up "the gift" hah... We had to head to Safeway to get some muchies for the partay. We ended up bringing spinach dip and bread. It was a total success by the way, and definatly got a lot of Crystal light singles, and were just having our own little juice party while we were there.

But after all of the tango, the cha-cha, the rumba, the waltz, the polka, the two-step, all of the dancing in general it was a fantastic night. Honestly I haven't had a night like that in a loooong time where you're just somewhere doing nothing in particular but you all want to be there doing it. I miss those days really.

So naturally first to arrive and last to leave as Sara said we helped clean up and just really stayed and talked for a while with Gabe, and watched some funny stuff. Lee Evans. If you haven't seen anything by him I definalty suggest you do so. He's a British comedian and totaly funny. After Gabe started falling asleep on the couch watching it, it was home time. That is why I am sitting here now... Because I dropped off Sara and no one else is home. So soon I will go to bed but I felt I needed to get this on here while it was still fresh.

The time we've lost can't get back

It was a one night Extravagansa!

My weekend... Was definatly odd, but in that good sort of way. Friday I went on a pub crawl with Sara, Brent, Curt, Curt, Matty, Jessica, Lessley, Michelle... There was just a lot of people. lol. Now this was after 3 costume changes that I decided to be a pirate, and Sara after no costume changes was definatly a greek goddess. Then it was off to JT's. Where it was time to eat something at least... not much, but definatly something. From JT's Matty and Jessica left us. This was at like 9pm. I so made fun of him for being old, cause 22 is really old right? anyways

Then the next bar was The Scuz. When we got there who should be randomly standing outside the door but Morgan. I wanted to stay and talk but Sara wouldn't let me for 2 reasons... One! We had to go dancing, and Two! we had to go dancing. lol really she just didn't want me to hit on him. At that time worked because I couldn't find him again after that. But that was okay because drinks were downed and it was definatly one of those I'm dancing and drinking and don't care about anything else kinda times. On the way out we definalty saw Sarah, Carrie, and Phil. Two hookers and a preist... Only Phil would do that.

The next bar after that was definatly the Hose! Man I love that place. Mainly just because the entire top floor is the dance floor. More drinks were had, and Sara started to get drunk. Now Sara definatly said that she wasn't getting drunk that night. It was a complete lie. She got really, really drunk. Then Greg showed up! With the random dancing with Mr. Pozniak and Curtis Hermanson it was just a good time aswell, because well... I hadn't seen Greg since the summer and well since he is basically like my brother it was definatly good to see him agian. That and the next time I do he'll probably be laughing while giving me some sort of stupid ticket because he can...

Finally we made it back to the OD! Where we tried to get Tone (Said like Tony) to let us in the side door but he just laughed and told us to go in the front. So we did! Now there at the OD was Morgan. I swear that boy was stalking me, but not really. So me being in the drunken state I was in didn't notice that I had dropped my cell phone. Really I wasn't worried because I was drunk as a mo fo. Actually I definatly thought it was really kinda funny... At the time. But I did get it back because the bouncer for the pub crawl found it on the bus. BUT! back to the story. Now since Sara was drunk, and Morgan was there. I started hitting on him. Now this may not have been the best thing because well I did go out with him before... But I'm pretty sure I was just being myself and a bitch all at the same time when I did go out with him so (I was thinking about this while I was sober) But I definatly felt bad even when I was drunk when he brought it up. So naturally I gave him a ride to his car... After more dancing and everything. Well actually my mom gave him the ride.

Then Borah, Sara and I went to McDicks, had our junk food and I watched Thumbalina... Thats right! I watched Thumbalina till the room stopped spinning and went to bed. Mainly I just needed to get some water in my system and wait till the room stopped spinning. I think some where between dropping Sara off and getting into bed Katie called. But I don't really remember that much.

Baby not the usual, tonight we gettin' unpredictable!

Updated Update

Alright... So today being Thursday it's naturally Branch night. I'm pumped and definatly won't stay long. why you ask? One because I'm going with Gabe who always makes me tired from dancing, and Two because I figure if I get really tired and just pass out then I don't have to deal with the though of Graham. At all. That or I'll just talk to Rob (I met him at the OD like a buzzilion months ago. But really just like 2) till around 1am again THEN pass out.

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But!! Enough about that. Lets talk about last night. It was, in just one word, amazing. Katie was the all time best cock block ever, Jackie was forced to dance with us or we would make random dancing moves at her just to be stupid, and it was just good.

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I missed strutting around like I own the place and paying attention to all of the people around me like I used to. Now mind you I didn't make out with any one last night but I can always fix that on the weekend and you should all be proud that I have a "date" this sunday.

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Thats right. I said it... A "date". Now I should really explain this. The Rob guy that I've been talking to decided we needed to hang out (I apparently had no choice in the matter) and that I think if I remember right we are going to see the Jackass 2 movie. I can live with that, meet him there, watch the movie, go home, go to bed. Sounds good to me!

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On a side note I've decided that Sin Wagon by the Dixie Chicks is the best song for me ever. Now for those of who don't know the song and don't care to listen because IT IS COUNTRY. here are the lyrics.

He pushed me 'round now I'm drawin' the line

He lived his life now I'm gonna go live mine

I'm sick on wastin' my time

Well now I've been good for way too long

Found my red dress and I'm gonna throw it on

'Bout to get too far gone

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Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition

Need a little bit more of my tweleve ounce nutrition

One more helpin' of what I've been havin'

I'm takin' my turn on the sin wagon

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On a mission to make something happen

Feel like Delilah lookin' for Samson

Do a little mattress dancin'

That's right I said mattress dancin'

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Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition

Need a little bit more of what I've been missin'

I don't know where I'll be crashin'

But I'm arrivin' on a sin wagon

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When it's my turn to march up to old glory

I'm gonna have one hell of a story

That's if he forgives me

Oh, lord please forgive me

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Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition

Need a little bit more of that sweet salvation

They may take mewith my feet draggin'

But I'll fly away on a sin wagon

I'll fly away on a sin wagon

Beautiful not just for show...

Wow... that was... Oddly sort of expected.

HOKAY! SO! lol you should all know right from the start I am in such a happy mood and it really doesn't make sense. I'll share why! :D So i suppose it all really started with saturday night. That was amazingly amazing (you should all go read it if you haven't "Pat-urday" ) anyways. I omitted a few things that I wasn't at the moment proud of. But right now in light of a few things am damned proud of. Mainly the fact that I made out with a totaly hot guy i've had a thing for, for a while now. ANYWAYS!

Just so you all know Graham and I are done. Over, finished... You get the idea. HERE"S WHY! He... about a week and a half ago... Started going out with his Ex. Now mind you she didn't know for sure about him and I but thought that we were a little more that friends as he said. Jackass. any ways. Right now as I'm typing this I'm definatly letting him have it. Now mind you I'll still talk to him and everything because i'm not really THAT evil. Though he really deserves it.

So now I was honestly going to stay home and be all sad and shit. Boy am I glad I went over to Jackies for that Shrimp night. Best thing of my life. Honeslty. I'm in love with that stuff, that and the fact that i would probably barf if I ever saw food again. But I love it. Being around those guys was definatly what I needed tonight. Note to self and everyone else. When going through a rough time. Eat shrip, Pie, and Icecream till you can't eat anything else, add some music, dancing, and back rubs and you've got yourself a sure cure for the blues!!!

I wanna shout out! Take me away!

It needed to be said

Okay... So this is kind of random but I think I just need to get it off of my chest. I know I've told you that things with my personal life (Not with you guys, but one individual. Most of you should know who I'm talking about.) but thinking things over today because I had nothing better to do I started to wonder if they really were... So since he stopped hiding from the world things have been a little differnent. I haven't even talked to him since I think it's been a week and a half. Which by my standards is definatly time for a new person in my life.

Now that being said I don't know if i want a new person in my life. I think I just want that one, but if he doesn't talk to me then really what is the point? Now this all really started last night when I was drunk-ish and sitting on Tim's kitchen floor and I sent him a text to which he never replied. So naturally when 2am rolled around I started wondering if he was hiding from the world again. If he did that AGAIN I'm done. I really don't want to be but I can only take so much.

Now thats a little bit of my usual self coming through. I guess you could say I get bored really easy but I think that I've changed a little bit in the last month and a half. Call it the new Michelle in the relationship department. I certainly had a lot of fun having a new boy every week or so, but lately I've decided it's really nice to have the same one to. On that note I'm also kind of jealous of those of you who do have that and at the same time I'm glad I did things the way I did.

Anyways back to the topic at hand. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Even though waiting is definatly not something I do well when it comes to this particular person but I certainly need to do this just to see if I can. Then tomorrow I can decide what I want to do with him. Is he worth me waiting for or am I just attached to some one who really isn't worth waiting for...

To dark to see tomorrow, These dark clouds are hangin' all around me

Pat-urday!

alright. so. last night was amazingly amazing. Why? i have no idea. well. i have a little bit of an idea so i guess i should explain. the night started off with Michelle G and Mary coming to get me and all 3 of us going to Tims house. Thats where the drinking began. I was pretty trashed by the time we actually left Tims to go to the Pat.

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So in the car was Tim, myself, Zennan, Mary, Michelle G, and Kyle. when we got there we basically walked in and it was a good time right form the get go. Saw a bunch of people I knew, my cousin April, Curts friends like Kish, Steve G and Joel were there, and Damon saw him again. Then there was just a little more drinking. Honesly. I only had 2 shots, and 2 Rye n Coke. Shocking I know. But i was already drunk and just needed to keep the buzz up so that's what I did. Along with a lot of dancing, and just randomly hitting on guys but never stopping to talk at all. So really it was the obvious look up and down, make eye contact, smile, and move on. Really it was just one of those nights where I felt and looked good and made the night about it.

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The ride home was really good to. cause Tims car was cold and we started talking with these random guys who turned out to be parked beside us. We were also making random hand prints on peoples cars just for kicks. So after laughing more and just being drunk we were finaly at Mary's house. We said our good-bye's, and Zennan and Kyle were goofing around on Mary's front lawn so we finally just went inside.

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After getting into our pj's and all of us of course needed our phones. I didn't need mine at all really I just wanted to feel important so i took it lol. Then after we all said good-night to Kyle cause he called Mary. mostly it was Mary and him talking and Michelle G and I were just being silly. We all curled up in the King size bed that used to be Hailey's and just went to sleep. We all got woken up a little while later by Michelle G's phone going off but I didn't really notice. The next thing I knew it was 9am and we were leaving to get Mary's car and take me home...

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I'm bringin sexy back! yeah!